I hate being bi-polar; it's awesome!

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When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

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why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

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When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

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Simon says; "You're adopted."

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Why does your mom not love you.... Because she is not your real mom.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Don't worry, he didn't either

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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The Arrowtongue commands the road like a semi-truck. But the Gyrosprinter corners on a dime.

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Two Irish men walk into a bar, order a drink and sit down to enjoy the drink and friednly conversation.

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A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

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You

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

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What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

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What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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