69

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Well, she did.

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Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

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What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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The hippo's an African beast, Who notably is quite obese, Quite boorish and mean And never too lean And poops in the rivers, at least...

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Quizno's footlongs are four dollars...

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Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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my president is black, my lambo's blue, $14,400,000,000,000 national debt

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What did the girl fruit say to the boy fruit when he wanted to marry her? "No."

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

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Did you hear about the circus fire? It was intense

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Who eats chicken noodle soup? Anybody who enjoys chicken noodle soup.

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Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

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Susie sells seashells by the seashore. Susie was a schizophrenic bitch who caused irreversible harm to her family and those close to her. She also had underage sex with a black guy named John. He was actually a pretty decent guy, but he decided to smoke weed a couple times when his dad was going through some tough times. His dad resented him for this fact and it caused unresolved tension between them for years. This caused John to go out and seek younger girls to have sex with, to fill the emptiness he and his dad's relationship left him with. Meanwhile, Susie was falling in love with John, not knowing his many dark secrets he had tried best to keep hidden from her. Eventually, all of these things come out in the open, and Susie still respects him and ultimately loves him even more for being so honest.

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Men's Rights

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What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

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So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? George. George Who? George Smith.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizza is not a group of people but in fact a dish originating in the Middle East.

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i like serious. serious means business. business means cash. cash means money. money makes me happy and when i'm happy you dont die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops