What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

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What's the difference between a badger and a TV? Alot.

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Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

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Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

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What did Scooby Doo say to Shaggy? Raggy

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whats worse than getting a papercut on the tip of your finger? getting crushed by a refrigerator

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Why did God use one of Adam's ribs to create Eve? He didn't. God doesn't exist

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Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

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My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

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A horse walks into a bar the barkeeper asks 'Why the long face?' The horse, incapable of speaking English, walked around in a circle, excreated and left.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Approximately 75 pounds of wood a day

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cats are afraid of dogs. mice are afraid of cats. elephants are afraid of mice. bf-2 fighter jets are afraid of elephants. is this true?

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Did you see stevie wonders new house? No. Well he hasnt either

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What do you call a man who writes anti-jokes? Rhys, because that is my name. thank you

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Knock Knock? Who's their. M. M who? Me.

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A man buys free health care...

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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An irish man calls a black man a nigger. The offended black man then proceeds to ravenously beat the Irish man's head into a nearby curb.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy mad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy in pain? A: Because a clown was ripping off the boys big toes with a hacksaw, all the while causing the small boy emotional pains by killing the boy's orange cat.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Joe Paterno dosn't walk into a police station.-South Park

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Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

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What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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