What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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Miley Cyrus.

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How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

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Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

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So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

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How'd the little kid get down the stairs when nobody was home? He fell down thhem.

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

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Q: Why were the two elephants kicked off the beach? A: They were both level 4 sex offenders.

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What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

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Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

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What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

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What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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