What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

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Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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Who eats chicken noodle soup? Anybody who enjoys chicken noodle soup.

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

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How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

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A homeless man comes home from work.

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knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

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Susie sells seashells by the seashore. Susie was a schizophrenic bitch who caused irreversible harm to her family and those close to her. She also had underage sex with a black guy named John. He was actually a pretty decent guy, but he decided to smoke weed a couple times when his dad was going through some tough times. His dad resented him for this fact and it caused unresolved tension between them for years. This caused John to go out and seek younger girls to have sex with, to fill the emptiness he and his dad's relationship left him with. Meanwhile, Susie was falling in love with John, not knowing his many dark secrets he had tried best to keep hidden from her. Eventually, all of these things come out in the open, and Susie still respects him and ultimately loves him even more for being so honest.

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A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

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After Fighting Apollo creed. Rocky screams ADRIAN!!!! After 3 days of cardiac arrest he realises that ardian is a fregment on his imagination

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How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

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What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? ..no

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how many jews can you fit in an oven? -well zero because the conventional oven cannot fit a full sized human

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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