A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did my cat die? I drowned it in the bath.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

cats are afraid of dogs. mice are afraid of cats. elephants are afraid of mice. bf-2 fighter jets are afraid of elephants. is this true?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A horse walks into a bar the barkeeper asks 'Why the long face?' The horse, incapable of speaking English, walked around in a circle, excreated and left.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the white cop say to the black thug? he didn't... he got shot before he could say anything

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why was the construction worker crying? Because do to the failing economy, he was recently let go from his job, and he is mortified by the idea of being unable to find work and ending up homeless and unable to fend for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

Miley Cyrus.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How many Jews can you fit in a car? Comfortably, four.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

After Fighting Apollo creed. Rocky screams ADRIAN!!!! After 3 days of cardiac arrest he realises that ardian is a fregment on his imagination

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How'd the little kid get down the stairs when nobody was home? He fell down thhem.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you spell dog? C-A-T!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A blonde, brunette, and a red head were walking on the side of the road and a fridge landed on them and they died. At least they still could go to their funerals.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do u know someones running? They leave this????behind

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

thumb_up thumb_down -39

one day a grape was in the sun raisin

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -181

What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

An Englishman, a Frenchman and a German strand on an island. Searching the jungle, they fall into a trap. They get painfully killed and eaten by the cannibals.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops