A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

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How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

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If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

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Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

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So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

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How'd the little kid get down the stairs when nobody was home? He fell down thhem.

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

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Q: Why were the two elephants kicked off the beach? A: They were both level 4 sex offenders.

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What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

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What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy mad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy in pain? A: Because a clown was ripping off the boys big toes with a hacksaw, all the while causing the small boy emotional pains by killing the boy's orange cat.

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9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

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Miley Cyrus.

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A twelve year old walks into a bar. How Tragic

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

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Whats the difference between an oven and a Jew? An oven is a manufactured and creates heat through the power of electricity or natural gas

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My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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