A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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Pull my finger. Not right now. I'm watching The Price is Right.

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Why does mexico not have an Olympic team? They do

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Why was the little boy upset? An arson set fire to his house, leaving him nowhere to live.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. Question is, how did they get in there?

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Why did the cat land on it's back.... because its dead .......

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

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Why did the chicken protest? He wanted to be able to cross the street without getting his motives questioned.

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how many boys does it take to use 4 computers? 4.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

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What's the best time to visit a dentist? Generally every six months or so.

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Transgenders! More than meets the eye! Transgenders! Girl was once a guy! LGBTs wage the battle to destroy The homophobic forces of Christianity! Transgenders! Homos in disguise!

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? One has a complex circulatory system the other is a pizza.

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What did the teacher say to the student? You failed science

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Do you know what it looks like when you put a cat in the microwave for 3 minutes? I don't know either because I close my eyes when I masturbate.

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What do you get when you cross a surfer and a black man? An angry surfer and an angry black man. You really should be nicer to people.

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What do you call a mexican doing drugs? An average pablo

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girls lacrosse

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a rapist.

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Q: Why doesn't the young lady speak very much? A: Because she's a whore

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You ever hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither has she.

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How do you make a little girl laugh. You tell her something funny.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the rest of the kids during recess? Tiffany is a pencil.

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Why did the baby cross the road? 'cause i kicked it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops