Roses are red Violets are blue I shit my pants do you want my poo.

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Why didn't Angie die when she jumped off the Empire State Building? She landed on a pancake

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I was walking down the street and a guy fell down right next to me. He woke up a hour later and asked "what smells like year old cat pee?" I said "year old cat pee retard honestly." Then he died. Morale don't ask questions you don't want to know the answers to.

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What's sad about 4 people in a Lamborgini going over a cliff? It was my car.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has Stevie

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What did my wife say when I asked her to pick up some milk on her way home from work? OK

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the virgin jerk until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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what starts with P and ends with u-b-e-s? Paul, can you brang me some priangles and the rest of my Rubik's cubes?

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why is my phone broken i dropped it

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? I have to take off my boots to jump on the trampoline.

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The Game.

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why did the pinapple walk the plank? to eat a cat because cheese say people!

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, becuse if something is red all over it cannot be black nor white.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Frank. Frank who? Cut the shit, I'm being chased by a tiger!

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Why did the zuccini fly? I was in an acid trip.

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whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black guy on the road? there is skid marks leading up to the dog.

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What's awesome and looks like a pumpkin? An awesome pumpkin.

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What do you call a rollercoaster without a coaster? A roller

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Yeah, I mean to be honest with you, I get that one a lot.

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Why did the car fall of the cliff? The dude driving the car was driving recklessly.

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why did the Asian guy's condom slip? Because the condom was put on the opposite way.

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i have read and agree to the terms of service

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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