You're at a funeral & your phone goes off and the ringtone is dead and gone

What's the difference between a cat and a banana? One is a cat, the other is a banana.

What do you call a black man with cancer? Someone with cancer

A fish swims into a wall. It does not say anything, seeing as fish do not possess vocal chords and therefore are incapable of speech.

Why can a bird fly Because it's not a banana

Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red Oh no! Someone's been murdered in my garden!

i was gunna write a joke..but i took an arrow to me knee.

I hate it when I get an erection and it pushes Pluto out of orbit.

I thoroughly dislike arabs, I lost both my parents in the events of 9/11.

Your mother is so bad at cooking that people often remark on how bad at cooking she is.

A man wearing a chicken t-shirt and holding a pair of dentures walks into the Youtube headquarters, then immediately walks out in fear of getting a copyright strike.

Kyle is consistently sexually harassed by a woman while at work. Everything is fine.

You're so stupid, you had to take part in special classes in school, and despite this specific attention to your educational development, you've made no major progress.

Why was Abraham Lincolin President. He was elected by the people of the united states.

What happens when a jewish man, black man, asian and an amish man get on the same plane heading to Chicago? The reach their destinations safely and go their separate ways.

Guess what i just did. Master bait.

What is pink, smelly, and sometimes gets wet? A pink sponge.

There was a black man a Spanish man and an Asian in the back of a police car. The end

What's green and has four wheels? A dolphin. I lied about it having four wheels. I lied about it being green. I lied about the whole thing.

Scenario: Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub The first one says, "Hey, can you pass the radio please" And the second one replies, "Sorry, my cousins are made of soap."

A dyslexic man walks into a saloon and asks for a hair cut.

A clown a hockey player and a...........what the heck that's all I got.

Why does Sally sell sea shells down by the sea shore? To support her growing crack addiction that is ruining Sally's and Sally's families lives

Why can't jesus hold skittles? They'd fall through his hands.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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