YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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What do you do when a dog chews your pen? Use a pencile instead.

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I LIKE TRAINS

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what did the photographer tell the model? You're ugly.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? The baby is not a car.

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! Win a few Lose a few I'm Donald Trump!

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What did the farmer say to the survivor of the plane crash that just crashed on his land? "Need a band-aid?"

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what's worst than being gay? being black

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A. Do you know what they call Bing Crosby in Sweden? B. No. A. Bing Crosby.

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What goes in your mouth long and hard, and comes out soft and sticky? A stick of bubblegum.

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what do you get when you cross a giraffe and an octopus an abomination

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They have a lengthy discussion regarding the hardships their people have suffered throughout history. Eventually, the subject changes to which coffee franchise has the best blend. A clear, concise decision is never reached. They then are asked to leave the bar, as they have not ordered any drinks and the bar is for paying customers only.

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why did the chicken cross the road it was being chased by the man from the chicken slaughter house.

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What do democrats and fire have in common? They both do damage

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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What's worse then breaking your xbox? Going on a 24 kill streak and having itchy balls.

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an egg? Ones delicious with bacon, the others an egg.

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Q:Why didn't Mr. Fuzzy have to cut his hair anymore? A: Because he was diagnosed with cancer

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Whats worse than dropping your apple? The Japanese earthquake!

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What amusing anecdote did the Department of Educational Dictations officer tell his coworker? There was no amusing anecdote. DED men tell no tales.

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Roses are read Vilots are blue, I have a gun, Now get out of my house!!!

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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