why am i sore i bummed a giraffe

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Your mom is so fat, that she has unsightly stretch marks.

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how does stephen hawking get an erection? he turns off his pop-up blocker

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I love telling anti jokes rather than jokes because I was born with a rare case of ebola and suffer from alcoholicationism

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What has three legs, 6 notches, 8 wheels, is beige, has cancer, and is severely burnt? I don't know.

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How do you stop a train? You don't, unless your the conductor in which case you would hit the brake.

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Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Starving children in africa.

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A wooly mammoth and a dodo bird walk into a bar. Just kidding.

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Two muffins were in an oven. One muffin said "Wow, its hot in here." The other muffin said "Oh my gosh a talking muffin!" The house burnt down because the oven created a fire.

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What would George Washington say if he were alive? "Help! im stuck in a coffin!"

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Pick up lines: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're wearing a university of Tennessee sweatshirt. If I could rearrange the alphabet to put 'U' and 'I' together, I would not do it because I would have to reorganize all of my alphabetized files. Is it hot in here to you or am I experiencing early signs of a stroke?

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How to you get a clown off a swing? You shoot it in the face.

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Why didn't the girl take her hairbrush to school? She has cancer and all her hair fell out.

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You're so stupid, you had to take part in special classes in school, and despite this specific attention to your educational development, you've made no major progress.

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Why was the woman bald? She was a Britney spears fan.

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What do you call when you see a man murder 8 black guys? The police.

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My name is Nero, Angelo Nero, its Italian (or rather Roman) For Black Angel, and yes it is my real name, you will believe me once you see my passport, driving license, mastercard whatever, I am 32 years old and I wont tell you my last name because at this rate... You could probably just google me up and find it yourself. Seriously, I am latino you know that, romantic is in my veins, but hey, you never told me you liked that so if we agreed to sex, that was what I was going with... I did tell you that sex is kinda meh for me without the romance factor. The thing about your name being Tifa, is that you look A LOT like the video game character, I mean come on! You even got red eyes! (okay hers may be a brownish red but come on!) You should post a picture of yourself online and see how many guys find you really sexy... Then again, dont, I want you for myself. Sorry this is taking some time, I dont get any of these solvemedia crapcraps

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This is an anti-anti-joke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, he got hit by a bus.

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Why did the black guy buy spray paint? To paint his fence, to keep it from rotting away.

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Why did the blind boy cross the road? Why? The world may never know. He was hit by a bus

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I heard you like getting dirty, so I got a dump truck to dump dirt on your bed so you can get dirty while you get dirty.

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What's black, white and red all over? Half a penguin.

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If a tree falls in a neigheorohood lots of people hear it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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