Q: Why is Santa's sack so big? A: Because he only cums once a year

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (a police officer steps in and says): What is red and green and peed all over? I dont know Im sorry to say, but its your mother. A group of teens killed her and defiled her body with urine. She was wearing green.

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why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a monkey The fact that you actually got raped by a monkey

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oh hai

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It would be unlikely for any entity of this time to speak English and communicate with chickens so it is improbable for one to know the answer.

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Your friend is so gay that he isn't attracted to hot women

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Queens Park rangers

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A sober Amy Winehouse

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? He looked at his gas bill.

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How did the blind man end up in the hospital? He didnt see the bus coming.

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why do rednecks wear big belt buckles? it's a tombstone for a dead dick:)

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A kid wanted to change the channel... One thing leads to another.

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How do you get a Virginia graduate off of your porch? Pay him for the pizza

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The world ends and everyone dies exept for a laywer

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Why do you never see hippopotamus hiding in trees? They are really good at it.

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A man walks into a bar. He suffered concussions later that night.

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Why did Darren Wilson quick scope Michael Brown? Because he was being attacked, racism is wrong

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what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Pizza's don't scream when there in then oven.

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What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? the NBA

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If life throws you melons, maybe you are hitting the melons.

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If John has 50 candybars and eats 45 of them how many does he have left? Diabetes.

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whats two naked people in a bed? too much information

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops