Please Rape William Wright

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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whats thin, long and hard? A: a pen is

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a blender? A: None. It is a sick and depraved act that is probably illegal anyway.

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What starts with 'P' and ends with 'orn'? Popcorn.

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He looked both ways and saw there was no traffic.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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What's the best way to get gum out of your hair? Cancer

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An unarmed man robbed a bank today, he failed because he had no way of carrying the cash out.

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

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So snoop dog drank some milk! :)

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Who is Jonathan Ezell He is Jonathan Ezell

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How do you seat four gay guys at a bar when there's only one stool? Flip the stool over.

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Friend: "Hey man! Did you hear about the kid who bought the last hamster at the pet shop? Other friend: "No..." Friend: "Oh, well he shot himself last night."

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? The victim of a freak genetic mutation and extremely susceptible to predators, meaning it will live a short life in the wilderness.

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I like pancakes. I like pancakes. We have no pancakes

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if i had a nickel for every time iv typed an anti joke... i would have $0.15

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with a dinosaur? Beastiality

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What's worse than biting into a worm and finding an apple? Why would you bite into a worm?

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who's that hot blonde at the disco? your mother.

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This is a haiku A lovely type of poem It's snowing on Mt. Fuji

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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"We all miss somebody a lot every now and then, its only human! But never give up, just keep reloading and firing until you hit that somebody!" Moral: Moral, answer me, MORAL MOOOOORAAAAAAAAL! DUN DU DURUN, DUN DUN DUN! *gunshot* (The moral section just because I love them red thumbs ^^)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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