what did the bug say when it got ran over by a car? NOTHING, bugs can't talk

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Why couldn't the white child dunk the basketball? His legs were amputated and he has been confined to a wheelchair.

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How come little billy couldn't ride a tricycle? Because he was born without legs due to a rare disease and therefore can't pedal.

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why did the girl say what's up. she wanted to know what they were doing

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That's what she didn't say

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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A haiku for you Would not provide enough space To say all the nice

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What dies but was never living? The hopes and dreams of small children.

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Your mother is so fat that she once ate an entire peach cobbler in one sitting and chastised herself yet again for her lack of self-control over her eating habits and her need to fill the holes in her self esteem with the short-lived gratification she gains from eating too much of the foods she finds tasty.

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why did the grinch steal christmas? The grinch had a rough childhood. he had an abusive father and a crack cocaine addicted mother, and as a result, the grinch never got a christmas of his own. The grinch steals the happiness of christmas from the who's becuase his horrible childhood has caused him to take his anger out on everyone around him, because the grinch believes that this will make up for his depressing childhoofd

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Who were the fastest readers of all time? The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

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TIMMAH!

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Why did the boy in a wheelchair cry? His mum just got shot in front of his eyes.

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whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

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Why do vampire's from 'Twilight' sparkle? Because it's a really bad movie.

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your mom died.

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Q:Why didnt the stoner go to college? A:Because he died of lung cancer.

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whats the only concert you can get into for 45 cents? a 50 cent concert featuring Nickelback

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What did the onion say to the the the other other onion Ima cut you fool and make yall cry

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Why did the tree stay home from school? Because, trees don't have school.

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How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is embarrassed but realises it has nothing to do with his dyslexia.

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You ever hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither has she.

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Knock Knock Who's There? The police- we are sorry to inform you that your wife and only child was killed in a brutal car accident earlier this evening, We offer our condolences.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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