Your mother is so fat that her BMI is larger than average.

this girl and guy were sitting on my couch turns out its my sister and her boyfriend and she just farted

What do you call a black guy robbing a store ? A theif

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

I always wanted to know what the future will hold in the decades to come... Until I realized the idiotness of my own thought for it is nigh impossible for us humans to see the future... Except... That the ancient Mayan civilization prophesized the end of the universe, which I did take into consideration as I slowly nibbled my way through the waffle cone till I had realized that I had reached the paper surrounding the cone and immediately spat it out for it leaves a fowl taste In my mouth, then continued eating my ice cream as I pondered the future and the anti-climatic ending of this anti-joke.

Hi

Why are butt pirates butt pirates? Because they just ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR FRUITS

why did the kid cross the road he didnt he had no legs

knock knock get lost!

What's the difference between a turtle and a fish? Turtles aren't fish.

What did the girl say to the mute? "Why are you so quiet?" How did the mute respond? He flipped her off.

what happened to the drug addict? he go high

a young cow was sitting on a bench until her husband shot her after that he said to the farmer 'i will get the milk than you cut the udders and then maranade them

What's worse than losing one of your socks? Being jewish during the holocaust

I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexic. Fcuk!

Q- what the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? A- The Wheelchair

Yo momma is so ugly, that she has no mirrors in her home to avoid the feeling of disgust and sadness she gets whenever she sees her reflexion

What did Jimmy say when the bully poured milk on his head? Nothing, instead he took out a shank and proceeded to stab him 30 times and let him bleed to death for being a douche.

Your Grandma and your mom drove off a cliff, who survived? Both of them, they didn't drive off a cliff.

your moms soooooo FAT that she went on a diet and became really sexy

What can hitler cook well Steak

The world ends and everyone dies exept for a laywer

What do you call a kid with an eye-patch and a speech impediment? Names.

Hey I just met you, and this seems crazy. I have Alzheimers... Hey i just met you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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