How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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Q: What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: A funeral.

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

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Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got hitted by a drunken driver and died last week, when he was cycling to school.

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so 3 guys walk into a bar.....the 4th one ducks

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Mr.Green walks into the class. He is alone with no wife and no kids and suffers from depression. His salary is below average and he can't pay the rent this week so he'll probably get evicted. He has aids. He will die in 2 weeks.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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I just flew here from Cleveland, and boy are my arms tired! The people on either side of me were hogging the armrests, so I had to kind of tuck my arms up behind my head and it was very uncomfortable.

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Do you like impressions? Why? That's Socrates

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car

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Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.

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what did the clock say to the other clock? .. were both lawyers!

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What was the mentally challenged kids first word? He was retarded so it wasn't a word.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

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A black man, a Jewish man, and an Indian man are all in the taxi when they were all killed in a car crash. Who was driving the car? The taxi driver.

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What did the blonde say when she found a dead bird on the sidewalk? "Aww, look at the poor dead bird!"

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How do you stop clowns from throwing cinderblocks at your car? Hire a hitman.

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Jerry: Hey, do you smell that? It kinda smells like updog. Moe: What's updog?

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Roses are black, violets are black. I'm blind.

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Politics

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops