How do you make a plumber cry? Tell him that Luigi beat him to the princess

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What do you call a blank white sheet of paper? Printer paper most likely

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Roses are red. Violets blue i do fuck people. MAYBE u too?

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What player wears number 8 and plays for liverpool? Steven Gerrard

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I like my kids how i like my coffee I dont like coffee

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? It fell.

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A child is watching Saturday cartoons when is father walks in and, the child is aware that the father was on an all night binge and is verbally abused

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What did one man say to the other? "hi other man"

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.

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A Priest, Rabbi, and a Minister walk into a bar... i forgot the rest of the joke, but your mothers a whore!

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? HIV

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what's funnier then 33? actually there's a plenty of things, just have to think about it

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Why did moral man run out of morals? Moral: LEAVE MORAL MAN ALONE! BUAHAHAHA LEAVE HIM ALONE! BUAAAAAAAAHAHAHA!

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What do you do on Mother's Day? This is not a joke, I don't know what to do.

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this girl and guy were sitting on my couch turns out its my sister and her boyfriend and she just farted

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How do you know what time it is in the dark? Turn on the light and look at the clock.

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a blond walks in to a post... OUCH

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Mickey Mouse peed on a house. Just kidding. Micky Mouse isn't real.

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what did the doctor say to the guy with a bullet in his arm you have a bullet in your arm

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What do you call a guy who has no experience flying a plane? Suicidal

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Guy: "Did you hear about the guy who cried wolf?" Friend: "Yes. He was pulling your leg. People cry tears not wolves." Guy: "How did you know he was pulling my leg?" Friend: "If you look down, he's still there pulling it."

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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Knock Knock ? Whose's there ? The person you should be opening the door for The person you should be opening the door for who? Oh my god Frank open the goddamn door

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Say this fast: Alpha kenny body sofa king hard with mike hawk. :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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