I love results day! for every A* I get 30 pounds! everything else I cut myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what do you call a black man driving a police car? a cop

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are Red Violets are Black Why is your chest As flat as your back

thumb_up thumb_down -14

When Miley Cyrus sticks out her tongue, people usually are there to take a photograph.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is dark, funny looking, black, and rhymes with osama? A black lama.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between a nickel and a dime? Five cents.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

hi

thumb_up thumb_down -14

one day a boy was in his bed he woke up and stepped on his carpet,he then got out a bowl and some breakfast, 23 minutes later the boy rode to school on his bike and parked it in a bike room, he then sat down at his seat and pulled out his history book and waited for Mr Jonty Nicholls to finish his coffee so he could learn about hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the boy have sex with his grandpa? His grandpa is a nice guy and it was his birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

how do you beat up 3 year old with ease? you beat her up, 3 years can't fight for shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is the difference between a blond and a red-head? They have different hair colors.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do cats eat for breakfast? Cat food.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

The blondes on the opposite part of the lake is a pretty good joke

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is the difference between 1000 dead babies and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man climbs up a tree. Once he reaches the top he is scared and thus incapable of getting down.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Wanna know how to confuse a black guy? Give him a friend chicken sandwich with mayo on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

knock knock who's there? the chicken i just crossed the road to offer you this token of appreciation for helping me screw in a lightbulb

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did YUR MOM cross the road? To go slap her annoying-ass twelve year old for using "your mom" as an insult.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock knock! Who's there? Girl scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I milked the cow, but no gas came out.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

So tell me what’s worse than a baby? A dead baby… Well then what’s worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a pile of dead babies? A live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies? A live baby eating it’s way out of a pile of dead babies…

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why do black people hate school? because they have to sit and learn like the rest of us for hours on end

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Five men walk into a bar. The bartender says, more taste or less? None of them care.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops