cats are afraid of dogs. mice are afraid of cats. elephants are afraid of mice. bf-2 fighter jets are afraid of elephants. is this true?

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Q: Why were the two elephants kicked off the beach? A: They were both level 4 sex offenders.

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A blonde, brunette, and a red head were walking on the side of the road and a fridge landed on them and they died. At least they still could go to their funerals.

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Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

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What is black and gray? This rectangle and this text.

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What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

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whats worse than getting a papercut on the tip of your finger? getting crushed by a refrigerator

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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what is brown and shaped like a tree?

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Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Approximately 75 pounds of wood a day

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Why did the plane crash into a mountain? Because a Banana was flying it, and Bananas can't fly planes.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

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A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

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When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? ..no

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

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why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

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Why does your mom not love you.... Because she is not your real mom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops