Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

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What do you call a black man in space? an astronaut

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You don't need to know a girls period schedule. Just look in the garbage.

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a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

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Who eats chicken noodle soup? Anybody who enjoys chicken noodle soup.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" then one of the costumers calls the health inspector and he shuts the place down because its not sanitary to have dirty horses in bars.

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Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

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So a frog and a penguin were talking and the frog says, " I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is we're freezing, but the good news is: We have a conoe!".

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What would you if I slapped you in the face with a fish? Unless you are a push-over, it is likely that you would retaliate with anger.

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roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

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In Soviet Russia, Joke isn't funny!

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Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

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What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? ..no

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When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

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whats first than finding a worm in your apple? a blonde who asks you why there is a worm in your apple

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The dog buried it's bone. The next day it unburied it, and chewed on it until it was wrecked.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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What is a vampires favorite desert? Vampires aren't real.

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What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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Why did the feminist cross the road? To suck a penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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