Simon says; "You're adopted."

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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i like cats

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After Fighting Apollo creed. Rocky screams ADRIAN!!!! After 3 days of cardiac arrest he realises that ardian is a fregment on his imagination

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Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she died of diabeties and we all mourn her loss.

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Why did the plane crash into a mountain? Because a Banana was flying it, and Bananas can't fly planes.

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

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A baby seal walks in to a club... That's it. That's the joke.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

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When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? ..no

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What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

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Why does your mom not love you.... Because she is not your real mom.

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Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have short-term memory loss. And roses are red.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Approximately 75 pounds of wood a day

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cats are afraid of dogs. mice are afraid of cats. elephants are afraid of mice. bf-2 fighter jets are afraid of elephants. is this true?

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

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roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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