Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Kncok Whose there? Not Sally

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. What does one say to the other? Nothing. They are both inanimate objects and can't speak.

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What's funnier than cancer? Just about anything. There's nothing funny about terminal illnesses.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's the difference between a girl's mouth and her vagina? There is none. I want my penis to be inside both of those things.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Inbreeding is no laughing matter but damn is it funny.

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What's a worse feeling than an upset stomach? Seeing a child getting molested and not saying anything.

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Why did Daphie die? I stabbed her 487 times.

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What has eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs face.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? How did you know it was me?

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Q: What's gray and comes in gallons? A: Gray paint.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding half of regis philbin in your apple...

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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What's sad about 4 people in a Lamborgini going over a cliff? It was my car.

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Seargent: Quick seal off all the exits so he cant get away. Private: OK 2 minutes later Private: He escaped sir Seargent: What, how Private: through one of the entrances

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Hey, how much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to drown as a result of climate change.

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Q. If Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were both drowning, what kind would you make? A. PBJ

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Wanna know how to confuse a blonde? No. I wanna know which way you would prefer to die.

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Roses are red. My name is dave. This poem makes no sense. Microwave.

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How many men does it take to screw a light bulb? One, men will screw anything.

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Knock Knock. Go Away!

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What's Big, Brown and really Runny ??? It doesn't matter anymore, i'll just leave the Toilet !!

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a man is running away

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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