What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Whats green and turns red at the push of a button A frog in a blender

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How do you stop a vehicle moving at high speeds? Apply the brakes in a reasonable fashion.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7.... because 7 was black

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How did the black man get into college? A mop.

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...IIITS... :) SMILEY :( AND MADDY THE HORSEHEAD SHOW ITS :) SMILEY :( AND MADDY THE HORSEHEAD SHOW! :) YAY! :(SHADDAP YUUU! Episode one... The waiting for the wait!

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What is black, white, and red all over? A bleeding zebra.

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Are you gay? No. Ok.

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A movie trilogy about an alphabet book. A ten minute long movie about a complete lifespan. A 600 pages long book on how to stop procrastination. A two page book about the top 600 award winning pictures. CALL NOW FOR A TELESCOPE INCLUDED! (So you can see the stars and fuck the book altogether) Juggernaut: IM THE JUGGERNAUTBITCH! Me: Hi, mind if I just call you bitch for short? Your life sucks sometimes because Karma is a bitch... ...My bitch ;)

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Why was there an awkward silence? Because numerous people gathered in a room were not talking.

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What kind of fire alarm does a zebra not like? One that doesn't work

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The POLICE, now open the god damn door!

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What does a eagle and a bunny have in common.. nothing they're two different animals.

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Roses are red, Violets are Violate and not fucking blue.

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what's the black mans shirt made out of? cotton

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What do you call a woman with no arms or legs that fell off a boat fucked

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What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an 0rgy.

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater!

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A blind man walks past a fish market, pauses, takes in a big sniff, and says, "Good morning ladies!" to the women walking by wearing too much perfume.

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What did the polar bear say when he walked into a sauna? Absolutely nothing because he was a polar bear. I mean seriously, did I even have to ask? Everyone should know that a polar bear is an animal and he wouldn't say anything. If he did it would most likely be a growl or a roar. If you believed that he would have said something you obviously didn't pass the first grade. I finish with the fact that a polar bear would not survive in a sauna because they are accustomed to cold climate. I guess this was just a waste of time.

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Where do you go when your friends called you spoiled? Africa.

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In Soviet Russia... People Die for Voicing their Opinions

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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