My parents died!

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? Hit him with an ax.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I had sex with your mother

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yo mommas so ugly that as a child she was often teased for her looks.

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There once were 2 cowboys who were lost on a dusty trail. Later on they found their way out and are now doing very successful

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell.

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What do you get hanging from an apple tree? Sore Arms.

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Two muffins were in an oven. One muffin said "Wow, its hot in here." The other muffin said "Oh my gosh a talking muffin!" The house burnt down because the oven created a fire.

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A middle-aged white woman is walking toward a building, talking on her cellphone to a friend. She says, "Yes, I can meet you for lunch in a few hours. I have to go to the unemployment office to sign up for benefits. It's going to be horrible. It'll probably be full of black people." Standing in line, she is incredibly uncomfortable and horrified, because there is a black man right behind her, and she is stuck standing next to him for a long time. Finally it's her turn, and she steps up to the counter. The clerk asks her, "And what did you do for a living?" She answers, "I mopped the floors and cleaned the bathroom in a Blockbuster store that closed down." The clerk says, "Fill out this paperwork and take it to window #2." As she turns around, she is once more repulsed by the black man who is standing right there. Now that it's his turn, he steps to the counter, and the clerk asks him, "And what did you do for a living?" He answers, "I was the senior vice president of global strategic development for Eastman Kodak."

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Did you know that I can't talk any louder than this... Exept when I can

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A Boy Walks Up To A Frog At the Bus Stop And Says, “Why Are You So Upset?” And The Frog Replied, “I’m Waiting For The Bus Because My Car Just Got TOAD!”

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Whis a racist rapist etter than a non-racist rapist? less women getting raped

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Q:Whats worse than you touching yourself at night A: The holocaust

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Finn Davidson is cool, no he's not, yes he is

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Bacon is delcious.

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Two nuns in a bath, one nun says to the other "wears the soap?" the other confused replies "I am sure you mean 'where' is the soap" and hands her the soap.

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How come the man couldnt read the directions? He was reading it upside down.

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what starts with an f and ends with a uck? firetruck!!

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What makes men cry? The realization that humanity is completely pointless in the infinitely expanding universe and thus any action to try and improve human life is also a complete farce.

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You know whats worse than finding 3 dead children in your house? Finding 2 dead children in your house.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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I heard you like getting dirty, so I got a dump truck to dump dirt on your bed so you can get dirty while you get dirty.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, he got hit by a bus.

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Q: "How does a monkey hide in a jungle?", A:"Paint its balls red and sit in a cherry tree" , Q:"What is the loudest noise in the jungle?", A: "A native picking cherries"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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