a blond was walking across a river thinking how do I get across. when she saw another blond. and asked how do I get to the other side and the other said your already on the other side.

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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At the time my grandfather came round to visit, what was happening in Australia? A giant spider was giving birth.

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Why did the little girl die Because she was kidnapped by a rapist, and defiled repeatedly, and then to get a ransom from her family the kidnapper slowly pulled out her fingernails and toenails, and sent them to the family the same thing happened with her fingers, toes, hands, feet, arms, legs, teeth, tounge, hair, and eyes, then she died of blood loss after nearly 2 months of torture.

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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A man named Jack has three kids. The oldest is named Jordan, the middle one is named Kim, and the youngest is named Alex. One day Jordan walked up to his father and asked him how his day was. His father replied, "It was fine."

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Jimmy wet his pants in class during geography class. The teacher asked: "Oh Jimmy, why did you do that?" Jimmy answered: "I don't know" Everyone laughed at him and Jimmy went home very sad. And with wet pants.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Lettuce. THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! AAAAHHHH!

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A middle aged bald man goes to Chuck E. Cheese with a hood and a lump in his back pocket. He has a somewhat enjoyable time with his offspring and leaves.

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Your grandma's cookies.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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If 32x=8600, find x. ^ | There it is!

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Quantum Mechanics is so difficult to understand, somewhere Stephen Hawking just walked into a bar.

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What's the difference between hot tea and cold tea? The temperature.

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knock knock who's there your family just died your family just died who? -.-

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What's Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin'

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what's white and goes up? a retarded snowflake

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How many squirrels does it take to drive a refrigerator 10 quarts per elephant? Vanilla Cake

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Im Black And I Will Beat You Children At Checkers,They Can Be Red

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What would Jesus do? Something worthy of having him nailed to a cross.

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What did my wife say when I asked her to pick up some milk on her way home from work? OK

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You know whats worse than finding 3 dead children in your house? Finding 2 dead children in your house.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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