whats the difference between a bird and a turtle? they can both fly but the turtle cant

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A haiku for you Would not provide enough space To say all the nice

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The black man leaves the strip club.

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A woman walks into a bar. Since having equal rights, she too falls unconcious..... Several men walk toward the bar

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whats worse than vegetables? Fisting Grandmas

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What's the best time to visit a dentist? Generally every six months or so.

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What time is it? 20:45.

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Q: What's worse than a dead baby? A: A dead baby with diarrhea.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Your momma's eyesight is so weak she needs a pair of glasses to see properly

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You mom is so fat she appeals to my secret fetish.

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Knock knock Who's there? Your brother My brother who? The dead guy over there.

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learn the ropes?

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what did the egg say to the boiling water? itll take a while to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick.

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why was the giraffes head so far away from his body? because he has a long neck

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Roses are red Violets are blue, I am sorry... But you have terminal cancer and are probably going to die in about 3 months

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What do you call a banana that just got pealed A banana

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OK. so a guy walks up to another guy and says hi. The other guy said nothing. The other guy said hi again. The guy said nothing The guy got really mad and slapppeed him across the face. Finally the man said PURPLE RABBID COMPUTER TREES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and walked away while liking his blue brick.

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What did the football coach say to fire up his team? Nothing. He was not legally allowed to say anything to his team as they were being locked out by the coach's boss, the owner of the team and anything that he said to them could lose him his job.

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A British man walks into a bar. He has to get stitches.

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What do a magazine and a banana have in common? They both have pages, except for the banana.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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What did the apple say to the orange? The apple did not say anything at all because fruits do not possess the ability of speech.

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What does a Jewish man do when he sees a new car? Doesn't buy it because he puts his money in a fund.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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