Why did the man put his penis in the baby? Because it's warmer than a watermelon.

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Q: What's the difference between a vampire and a lawyer? A: A lot of things.

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A sober Amy Winehouse

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Roses are red, Violets are red, My house is red, I am on fire

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What do cows and grass have in common? They both say "moo", except for the grass.

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Why are Chinese people short? Chinese people are often exposed to harmful chemicals because of lax environmental laws, and suffer from poor nutrition.

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Why wouldn't Jimmy ever eat his vegetables at dinner? As a young boy, Jimmy watched as a robber entered his house, suffocated his mother by clogging her airway with a cucumber, and escaped with their life savings.

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What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses only the finest ingredients.

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what did the old man say to the older man? "hey".

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Why can't you look at the sun? Because it's 2.00 AM

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What is the same about fries chicken and watermelon? There both delicious.

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Dad: sussy, do you know how you were made? Sussy: No, how? Dad: With this DICK!!

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What do you call a black man with a gun? A cop

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why does god like Justin Bieber? He can't god doesn't like the devil.

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Two gorillas walked into a bar and it hurt

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Why the kid can't get off the water? Because your feet is on his head

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Your biggest fan.

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A redhead walks into a hairdressing salon and asks to have her hair dyed black due to being a subject of bullying and social rudeness.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would run away too if your name was urdaagaa.

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There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

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There's a black, afghan, and a rhabi. Which one is Obama?

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Whats so funny? That kid has down syndrome

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Went to a zoo there was a asian shouting GOOZILLA at the reptile house I said no 2 frickly pickles please He said helwo I'm wo pong th pow wice to weet you I said does he come with subtitles Old priest said no the said hello little boy want a mint I said oh thanks I'm not a boy I'm 19 Old priest said no no you can't have one of my special mints I said wait those mints have R's on them are the rainbow mints Old priest no there raspberry I said ok don't be a stranger Old priest said oh I will I said wait your THE PRIEST He said oh I'm just a priest looking for little boys I said no your dead now jumped 30 feet in the air sat on a bird dove into him bird went threw him we made a team promised to clean the world of evil only to find out that we killed the mother of all priest Bird said tweak tweak I said yeah let's hunt them all down Shall the be a part 2 you decide

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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