- Anti Joke

What did the bird say on twitter? Tweet tweet.

Knock knock! Who's there? Boo! Boo who? Aww, don't cry!

whats the difference between a black man and a terd ? one is a black man the other is a terd

EGGPLANT

Do you like cats? You gotta be kitten me.

What's worse than a baby falling? A baby fall in a pit of tar What did the baby say on the way down? "weeeeeee"

What did the black man in a white 2007 Jeep Wrangler when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

Knock Knock. I paid good money for a doorbell. Use it, please.

Why did John stay home from school? He died.

why did the semen cross the road? i wore the wrong sock today.

what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Just two animals that are judged.

Has u seen my grammar?

how do you get a mexican to fall off of a cliff? you push them off

Thats sweet, thank you then.

How many Poles does it take to change a lightbulb? Just the one, usually.

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? About 4:30, unless he's running late, stuck in traffic, had to get gas.

Your mother is so fat she sometimes eats a normal sized portion of food and does not feel satisfied

How do you stop a baby alien from crying? Watch what its mother does to soothe it and then try and copy that.

What did the guy who dropped his iPhone do? He went out and bought a knew one.

What's black and white and red all over? A car in which some young hoodlum appears to have splashed a fair amount of red paint over the owner's otherwise charming checker pattern.

Whats worse than losing The Game? The Holocaust

In the land of cheerios, there are three social classes. The bottom class consists of the regular cheerios, the middle class consists of the honey nut cheerios, and the top class consists of the frosted cheerios. One day, Mr. Cheerio was disappointed with his life in the bottom social class. He thought to himself, "Gosh, I bet life would be much better if I were a honey nut cheerio!" So he goes to the mighty cheerio king and says "Oh great cheerio king, what must i do for thee that thou might make me a honey nut cheerio?" The great cheerio king then says to him "I shall make thee a honey nut cheerio if thou wilt go to all the neighboring lands and bring me back 100 different kinds of vegetables!". Mr. Cheerio accepts the quest and travels for many months and years through all of the neighboring lands and finally collects the vegetables. He returns to the cheerio king and he honors the bargain my making him a honey nut cheerio. Mr. Cheerio is very happy with his new life. Due to his higher rank in society, he is able to find a wonderful job, marry a wonderful woman and have a few wonderful kids. One day, Mr. Cheerio thinks to himself, "I wonder what my life would be like if my family and I were all frosted cheerios. I could provide more for my family, and we would have a much fancier way of life!". He returns to the cheerio king and says "Oh great cheerio king, what must I do for thee that thou might make my family and I frosted cheerios?". The king then states "I will make thee frosted cheerios if thou wilt go to all the neighboring lands and bring me back 100 different kinds of fruits." Mr. Cheerio accepts this new quest. He departs from his family and travels for many months and years through all the neighboring lands until he finds all the fruits he needs. He returns to the cheerio king and he honors the deal by making Mr. Cheerio's family frosted cheerios. The life of the frosted cheerios is incredible. It is everything that the Cheerio family could have ever wanted. There are new opportunities around every corner. One day, a friend of Mr. Cheerio invites him to a dinner party that all of the frosted cheerios will be attending. Mr. Cheerio and his wife are talking to their friends at the party, when Mrs. Cheerio says to Mr. Cheerio, "Hey, honey, I'm getting a little thirsty. Could you go get me some punch?". Mr. Cheerio finds a very long line and stands in it. Once he gets to the front, however, he discovers that it is the line for steak, not punch. He repeats this process with half a dozen other lines, but he cannot find the line for punch. He returns to his wife and says, "Honey, there's something wrong with this joke. There's no punch line."

Whats worse than getting raped by a monkey The fact that you actually got raped by a monkey

A Jew and a German walk into a bar.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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