What sound does a childs head make in a vice? I don't know, I was too busy wanking.

Why was the woman bald? She was a Britney spears fan.

Why did Ramsey fall off the seesaw? Because while he was playing with friends on a seesaw at a nearby Country Club, a very angry and insane man who had many handicaps, decided to solve his problems by killing someone. A funeral was held a week later.

You're so stupid, you had to take part in special classes in school, and despite this specific attention to your educational development, you've made no major progress.

???????????? ???????????? ???? ???? ???? ???? ???? A wild EXEGGUTOR appeared!

Why was the black man tangled in chains at the bottom of the ocean? Because he was a highly skilled diver and environmentalist who tragically entangled himself and consequently died slowly and painfully of suffocation while trying to save a whale from eating waste metal.

anti jokes are for fags

Yo mamma's so fat, that she weighs alot.

Donkey lips

Your mother is so bad at cooking that people often remark on how bad at cooking she is.

A flea walks into a bar. Nobody notices because it is a very small insect

What do you get when you cross your eyes? A headache.

Why do girls have bumps around their nipples ? -it's brai for suck here .

What's the difference between a water melon and a baby? One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other's just a water melon.

What's worse then your mouse running away? Getting hit by a plane

knock knock whos there? IRS Oh....

4 out of 4 questions. You want to cross the lake, but alligators live in that river. How do you get across? The alligators aren't there. They're all at the lion king's meeting.

why was it funny that the boy got a razor for christmas because he had leukemia

What's green and has four wheels? A dolphin. I lied about it having four wheels. I lied about it being green. I lied about the whole thing.

A dyslexic man walks into a saloon and asks for a hair cut.

What did the man with AIDS say to the other man? I have AIDS and will most likely succumb to the disease.

Why was the man reading various news articles on the Internet at 2:21 in the morning? Because at that time he could not sleep. Which meant he tried to find something else to fill his time up with.

What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a dog

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...