How do you keep a secret? Kill yourself.

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Why did the boy get hit by the ice cream truck? The driver of the ice cream truck was drunk

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.sdrawkcab siht gnidaer era ouy ,siht daer nac ouy fI

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A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

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That moment when you try and finger your girlfriend and there no hole......and you start questioning your sexuality

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Llama. Llama who? Llamas aren't racist unlike that bastard Ann Coulter. That's why they can get a carrot up the ass and she can't.

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Before Super Mario existed what did people play? Instruments.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a dog in your apple

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What's funny about a small child with no arms, no legs? Nothing.. Nothing at all.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Whatever you like, it can't hear you.

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Why did the boy die? He had cancer.

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What Do You Call The White House When Obama Is President? What? The White House.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

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How do you get a Jew in a car? Ask him to get in. How do you get him out? (If they say tell him to get out) Tell him Hitler is driving (If not) Ask him to kindly step out of the vehicle.

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You read the Terms of Service.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, the little midget is coming for you. If you don't run and if you don't hide, you will probably be stepped on because of my incredible big size.

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Yo mama so fat when she looked at the scale it said to be continued

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What do you call a room with a white man a black man and a hot pocket? A reasonable meal

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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There is something in my butt what is It. My thong

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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Knock knock Who's there? Impatient Hellen Keller. Impatient Hellen Keller who? ...

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What did the fish say when it hit the big stone wall? DAM

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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