what do you say to a girl dog crying??? shut up bitch...

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Q: What's worse than a dead baby? A: A dead baby with diarrhea.

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A man walked into a bar Ouch.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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OK. so a guy walks up to another guy and says hi. The other guy said nothing. The other guy said hi again. The guy said nothing The guy got really mad and slapppeed him across the face. Finally the man said PURPLE RABBID COMPUTER TREES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and walked away while liking his blue brick.

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How many Frenchmen does it take to surrender? Probably just one.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't it's a dead baby!

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(402)217-6102 that is Jesse

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because on top of his depression, his wife had been cheating on him and his kids all died in a horrible hand-gliding mishap.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash and the other one is a watermelon.

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Why, you might ask, did in fact the chicken cross this all too infamous road? His grandma-ma phoned the righteous bird and requested a visit. Chickens never displease their family.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish, who had a horrible accident with a fishing hook

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Suzie was in a traumatizing accident resulting in her arms getting cut off. Knock Knock? Whos There? Not Suzie.

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do want to hear a joke? Women's rights

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There was once a family of tomatoes. A daddy tomato a mommy tomato and a baby tomato. they decided one day to take a walk. but the baby was taking forever so the daddy tomato walked back STOMPED on him and yelled "CATCHUP"

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A man with a ski mask leaves a jewelry store He then goes back because he accidentally took the clerk's pen

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Mr Jones, we're sending you to a mental health clinic

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Roses are red, Violets are pretty, look at their team, Surrender at 20.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was simply tired of being mocked and judged by society.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because Suzy had no arms.

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What is the difference between a baby and a rat? I don't have a rat in a cage

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Theres a monkey that walks into a bar. I forget the rest of the joke but your moms a w****

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Knock knock Who's there? Your brother My brother who? The dead guy over there.

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The more I learn to understand myself, the more true I am towards my values the less human I feel. The irony is, that there will always be other humans feelng the same.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops