A guy says a joke. It was not funny

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What is worse than breaking your pencil? Flying on a magic carpet

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What's red and hurts your teeth. Answer: a brick

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Your Grandma and your mom drove off a cliff, who survived? Both of them, they didn't drive off a cliff.

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Your mother is so fat she has made a concerted effort to loose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did Batman tell Robin before he entered the batmobile? Robin, I had sex with your mother this last Thursday.

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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Why can't Bob go to the store? He's dead.

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Yo mama so fat she went on a diet and steadily lost wait

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I really don't care how you dress at my funeral, I'll be dead!

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Do you like cats? You gotta be kitten me.

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What did the black man in a white 2007 Jeep Wrangler when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

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What's worse than a baby falling? A baby fall in a pit of tar What did the baby say on the way down? "weeeeeee"

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What is yellow, smooth, and dangerous? Shark-infested custard

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Why don't I understand myself? Because I am an anti-joke and lack a self-aware existence.

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HI MY NAME IS DOUG

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How did a baby get across the street? Stapled to a chicken.

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How did the man drown the fish? He ate it.

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What's black and white and red all over? News paper that was used to cover up a dead body.

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A girl walks into a strip club, she was tired of her husband and wanted to see how it was actually done.

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can i have 10 pounds to go to the cinema?

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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