why did the chicken cross the street? he couldn't, he lives in a rural area on a farm where there are no streets

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why was tommy so sad?............because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What do you call a mexican doing drugs? An average pablo

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Romans rights.

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why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a date-rapist

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

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What's black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, mixed-race babies.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technological age we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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What's worse than taking a bite in an apple and finding a worm in it? Taking a bite and finding half a worm.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your hair smells nice, especially when woven into a sweater.

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What do you get when you jab a four year old with a pair of scissors? A warrant for your arrest.

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What is the difference between apple and android? Apple makes fruit and android candy

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What does a Jewish man do when he sees a new car? Doesn't buy it because he puts his money in a fund.

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Q:how do you make a rockstar cry? A: hit him with a breifcase

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96

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Knock Knock. Who's There. Teenage Pregnancy

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Jesus was a good guy

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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How many software professionals does it take to get a file committed to source control? Well, today it took five.

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Why wasn't the man talking? Because he was sleeping.

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what did the caterpillar say to the butterfly? Im gonna turn into you.

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life is a barrel of tomatoes...unless you paint them blue.

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Why are rich people so rich? they're not poor.

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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? 1

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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