Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

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When life gives you Corn Nuts, snack on them while watching your favorite TV show. Then go to sleep early and have a nice, peaceful rest, dreaming about the fun things you'll do tomorrow.

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Simon says; "You're adopted."

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handle bars except for the duck

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

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PATHETIC

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Why did the boat sink? It ran into an iceberg.

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What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

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A one legged long jumper missed the world record by one foot.

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How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

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A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

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What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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Person 1: You have something on your head Person 2: What? Where? What is it? Person 1: Hair

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Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

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Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

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A horse walks into a bar the barkeeper asks 'Why the long face?' The horse, incapable of speaking English, walked around in a circle, excreated and left.

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So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

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A man dressed in a white sheet shows up at an African American's door, they sit in the living room drinking coffee and watching the weather.

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What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a piece of coal? The coal doesn't scream when you burn it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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