Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Did you see stevie wonders new house? No. Well he hasnt either

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Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

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Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

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Why did the Muslim guy look nervous and sweaty when the plane took off? Because he is claustrophobic. Racist fucks

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So i was thinking of going to japan for spring break. I've heard they have some awesome swells.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a piece of coal? The coal doesn't scream when you burn it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? -- Because she had no arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? -- Because she got ran over by the ice cream truck

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

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why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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Simon says; "You're adopted."

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9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue.

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Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

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i like cats

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what is brown and shaped like a tree?

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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