Knock knock. Whose there? Not my house so not my problem. Frankly, I don't give a shit.

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how do you make time fly? throw a clock out a window.

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red Oh no! Someone's been murdered in my garden!

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Knock knock Who's there? Batman Batman who? Because he was

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A fish swims into a wall. It does not say anything, seeing as fish do not possess vocal chords and therefore are incapable of speech.

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how do you know Newcastle are losing? its 5 past 3

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What did Helen Keller do when she found a dead body? Nothing.

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Okay, so your school has a fire drill, and a ginger asks why the alarm went off. You reply, “Some new kid saw your hair and pulled the fire alarm

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Q-why did the dog run away? A-he was Michael vick's dog

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whats funny about a jew burning? Nothing......

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How do you make a telemarketer scream? Set him on fire.

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What's the difference between a BMW and a murder victim? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

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What's the same between a school bus and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the bus.

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If she is old enough to bleed, she probably uses tampons.

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A green-painted man walked into a bar and confused a blonde, bar-tending horse with a tale of rape in the holocaust involving an amputee child riding a fridge on a plane with a pig, a duck, a chicken, a lawyer and countless men of various ethnicities, religious faiths and sexual persuasions. Together, they changed a lightbulb, ate wormy apples and agreed upon the colour of roses and violets respectively.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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I STUCK MY TESTICLE IN A BLENDER!!!

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Why did the woman buy peanut butter and a puppy? Her husband just died. She was trying to fill the void in her soul with junk food and companionship.

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Mormons having fun.

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Yo mamas so stupid that she has a condition called autism

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? I'm not sure, he could not unwrap them.

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4 people: A pilot, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a little kid, are all on an airplane with only 3 parachutes, when the plane's engine explodes and starts to go down. But the pilot makes an emergency landing at a nearby airport and everybody is okay.

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Knock Knock, Who's There? The The Who? YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!

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What did Helen Keller say to the leper? Buaaaaguuuhloo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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