A bench doesn't breathe, apparently Mexicans do.

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Ken wins!

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An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

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Did you hear about the guy who broke his legs? His legs were broke.

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Why did the boy have sex with his grandpa? His grandpa is a nice guy and it was his birthday.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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Girl: That's pretty big. Boy: That's what she said. Woman: Yes, I enjoys large genitals.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot.... ya' damn racist!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is dead, and thereby lacks the necessary motor control.

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What did the woman say when she lost her purse? Where's my purse?

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A Jewish man, black guy, and asian all walk into a bar. Can you guess which one got arrested? That's right, the criminal

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I milked the cow, but no gas came out.

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Why did the pineapple cry? It didn't, because it's a pineapple.

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Roses are red violets are blue I think you re stupid go eat a shoe

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Y- You O- are L- such a O- Loser

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Q:What did the wall say to the other wall? A: .

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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What's worse than carrying a heavy suitcase? Poisoning children.

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69 HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *goes crazy and shoots himself*

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Hey, did you hear about the guy who got his left arm and left leg cut off? Yeah, it was pretty brutal. His right arm and right leg got cut off, too.

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a man in a black van pulls up to a kids house and offers him icecream the kid points out that since it is summer and black absorbs heat, that the icecream will have melted

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Tip for Employers: Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the resumes into the bin.

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Who did the man call when his house was on fire? He called his mother as the firefighters put out the fire.

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What's worst than realizing your mom is actually a transvestite? Simultaneously realizing this means you are adopted

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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