Why did the teacher give out homework? she is a teacher

thumb_up thumb_down -35

When you cross a bird on the sidewalk what do you do??? Run in big circles.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did a vampire climb Mount Everest in the middle of the night on his birthday in September?

thumb_up thumb_down -37

uhyuyuyhyuuuhuyuhh rice crispies

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What do a fish and a moose have in common? They both live under water, apart from the moose.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What's worse than getting rejected by your date? Finding out she gave you a social disease. Namely AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What has two legs and can't walk. Someone thats paralyzed!

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Q:Way C'nt U reed tHis? A: Because im retarted -ian surprenant

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Knock, knock -Who's there? Help -Help who? Im dying of lukemia

thumb_up thumb_down -45

How do you know when your dog is gay? When the dog starts wearing way to many Deep Vs and watches the Oxygen channel with "friends"

thumb_up thumb_down -47

What did the hat say to the other hat? Nothing, because hats don't talk, stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Why did the n i g g e r steal money? because he was black! and wanted a KFC thanksgiving! :)

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Why didn't Anne Frank answer the door? Because it was the German SS.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What did the man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Oh my goodness! Are you alright?!"

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What is the difference between finding a dead black man on the street or a dead dog? There are tire marks in front of the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Your mama's so fat, that at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to diet and exercise before her obesity manifested itself in a variety of chronic afflictions that would detract from her ability to lead a long life.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

In that case you are probably a bit of an outcast as most girls of your beauty are, you know, you are that kind of girl that feels weird because when she got/gets on the buss EVERYONE stares at her, but nobody dares to say anything, right? And when you are hanging out for a drink or something guys stare at you, and go like "nah" which means "Nah she is too good to want me" and starts hitting on your friends instead. Oh and you also get a lot of rude comments from guys "auto disqualifying themselves" like using complements they know will backfire like "Hey wanna fuck sugart1ts? They do this so they can go home with their ego intact thinking "Hey I was tough enough to hit on her, but she turned out to be a bitch! So does any of this sound familiar?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How do you make an anti joke? You ask a question that could have a presumably amusing answer, but make the joke less amusing by stating an obvious answer, therefore completely bamboozling the victim of the anti joke, and making you seem like a man that has a lot of common sense.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Who thinks amy mc quire is really stuiped

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's worse than a fly in your soup? Getting killed in a plane crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why can't men give birth? Because men do not not have the reproductive organs required to give life to a new born child.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops