How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? Spray paint it blue then shoot it with a blue elephant gun

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was uneducated and was not aware of the dangers of streets in heavily populated cities.

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Why was the boy kissing up to his parents? He only wanted them to say "I love you" for once.

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What's the biggest Jenga game? 9/11

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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What's worse than getting rejected by your date? Finding out she gave you a social disease. Namely AIDS.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the little boy? May God be with you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get back before curfew.

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How do you know when your dog is gay? When the dog starts wearing way to many Deep Vs and watches the Oxygen channel with "friends"

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Please Rape William Wright

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what do you call a man with no @ss? d1ckhead

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What do you call a girl with 1 eye and 3 arms... Chernobyl.

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How do Helen keller's parents punish her? They sternly reprimand her for her misdeeds.

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What do you get when you eat all potatoes Their all gone

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What's the best way to get gum out of your hair? Cancer

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I like pancakes. I like pancakes. We have no pancakes

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My penis is so big that some women find it uncomfortable.

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

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there once was a time before bonerss it sucked it sucked real bad like that kid who never washes his gym closes bad Mason Manning JLR

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Why did the Asian Cross the road? Because the crossing signal went green!

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What happened to the jew that donated? Stop thinking, jews dont donate.

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"We all miss somebody a lot every now and then, its only human! But never give up, just keep reloading and firing until you hit that somebody!" Moral: Moral, answer me, MORAL MOOOOORAAAAAAAAL! DUN DU DURUN, DUN DUN DUN! *gunshot* (The moral section just because I love them red thumbs ^^)

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What animal has four legs and one hand? Happy rottweiler

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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