My mother forgot to make me a sandwich today.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not having an apple to find a worm im

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Why is cheese yellow? Answer: I don't know, I was hoping that you would know.

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your mumma so fat she ate a horse and she still had room for dinner

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A blind was staring at a girls ass. Her boyfriend promptly bludgeoned the man unaware of his illness.

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Gingers.

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Whys it so cold? Nuclear winter.

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Your momma's so fat that she has a body fat percentage of 37 and is clinically overweight.

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Yesterday I saw a black kid outrun a white kid know why? Because the white kid was a cripple

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You're at a funeral & your phone goes off and the ringtone is dead and gone

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Why is it wrong to love your neighbour? You would be loving a dickhead.

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What is invisible and smells like carrots? The smell of Carrots. Pretty sure you can't see smells.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a blow up doll? The blonde is a person, you sexist asshole.

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't know where I am, I'm blind.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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What was Billy for Halloween? A pirate

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Whats better then having 10 fingers Having 11

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Why did little Jimmy cry when his Rolls Royce got destroyed? Because his parents were in it.

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Why couldn't the girl swing on the swing set? She had no arms.

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The Christian Bible.

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Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave.

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What's worse than a Holocaust in your apple? What.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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