why is my phone broken i dropped it

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the child get cancer? Because there was a family history of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats brown and sticky? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man rode into town on Friday and stayed a while and then left on Friday how did he manage this?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

When you give your homecoming date flowers, you're really handing them a bouquet of sex organs

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Cripples are lame.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: How do you make a black man nervous? A: Threaten to kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a pig that just took a bath? Clean!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

"The hills are alive..." Impossible, hills can never be alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats the best part about being alive? Not getting hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the psycho killer order for dessert? Ice Cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your momma's so fat: she now considers her body to be a metaphor for post-industrial excess.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's green, and looks like money? Money...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Harry Chappell raped someone

thumb_up thumb_down +14

look in the sky! its a bird, its a plane........ Its Miles

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Pick up lines: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're wearing a university of Tennessee sweatshirt. If I could rearrange the alphabet to put 'U' and 'I' together, I would not do it because I would have to reorganize all of my alphabetized files. Is it hot in here to you or am I experiencing early signs of a stroke?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did hitler say to the bartender? Nothing he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A woman is on an escalator, which stops, then she cries. Why? The escalator is in a hospital and stops because the power has failed. She was going to visit her husband who is on life support, which has now but out.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A white person at Harvard

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the black man tangled in chains at the bottom of the ocean? Because he was a highly skilled diver and environmentalist who tragically entangled himself and consequently died slowly and painfully of suffocation while trying to save a whale from eating waste metal.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Im Black And I Will Beat You Children At Checkers,They Can Be Red

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red. My name is dave. This poem makes no sense. Microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops