Why did the corpse come to life? Because number 5 is alive!

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My mother forgot to make me a sandwich today.

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NEVER

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What do you call a puppy that has been left in the cold? A puppsicle

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Whats long, hard, and has cum in it? Cucumber

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-Ask me if i'm a crab. -Are you a crab? -No, why would i be a crab?

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im gunna build a lego house what shud i make it out of

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How do you make a telemarketer scream? Set him on fire.

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You will never see the a heaven made of pure light with no room for darkness to dwell? Pure light will make you blind, living forever in darkness.

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your mumma so fat she ate a horse and she still had room for dinner

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Why is cheese yellow? Answer: I don't know, I was hoping that you would know.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not having an apple to find a worm im

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

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Jimmy wet his pants in class during geography class. The teacher asked: "Oh Jimmy, why did you do that?" Jimmy answered: "I don't know" Everyone laughed at him and Jimmy went home very sad. And with wet pants.

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Roses are red Violets are blue get down or i will shoot

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hey

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Why did the man suck at basketball? Because he is white, 5 foot 2, and has no arms. Posted By: Lram

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What's the difference between a blonde and a blow up doll? The blonde is a person, you sexist asshole.

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Yesterday I saw a black kid outrun a white kid know why? Because the white kid was a cripple

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What is invisible and smells like carrots? The smell of Carrots. Pretty sure you can't see smells.

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Your momma's so fat that she has a body fat percentage of 37 and is clinically overweight.

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Why is it wrong to love your neighbour? You would be loving a dickhead.

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You're at a funeral & your phone goes off and the ringtone is dead and gone

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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