how do you get a girl of a swing? puch her off! how do you get her friend of a swing? throw a refridgerator at her!

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses only the finest ingredients.

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Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he clearly has an owner that doesn't fence him in.

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If someone tells you to look behind you do you? No

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knock knock who's there i lost my wallet my nan died

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Michael Jackson's favorite places: Toystore Candy shop Playground Amusment parks Kindergarden classroom Orphanige

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1: What is a gum wrapper with no gum? 2: A wrapper? 1: No.

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What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

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How do you like your eggs in the morning? -Poached or Fertilised?

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How many spiders dose it take to cover a wall? Four, if they are 7 feet tall

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hi

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Knock Knock! Come in the door is unlocked. I have cookies!

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A hermaphrodite walks into a bakery, orders an eclair, then leaves.

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A cowboy rides into town and stays the weekend but then leaves on Wednesday, how is this possible? He was alive for the weekend and died on Sunday, his body left on Wednesday. Now get a job and be happy with your life.

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quik reply fuckker, im at the room on the left at the uh... forgot anywayss third floor, to the end of the hospital, btw, I told The Goat and Fingern to wait for you at the entrance, and I paid them to kick your ass... WHOS YOUR DADDY! Well soon ill be your dad and the father of your sisters first kid! Man, relax, I told them to just drag you outside and kick you in the nuts, then some atomixc elbows and make u bleed... Your suufering is none of use of me if your ded, plz reply abut your sufferage when they are done, u really think id fight your dirty shit yourself? I AM THE LEADer THE ONE WHO KNOcKS! I DONT LIKE THE FIGHT! PEOPLE FIGHT FOR ME! IN MY NamEN MY GLORY!! Amen, you will soon become an uncle... Nah, tell your sis its a joke, I already told her I insist bangign her look at the pone Goat has in his poket, her last responz is "now?" and two smileys with eyes poppingg XD Seriously, if they are not already kicking your ass... Well, they sent me a pic, I suppose you will end up at the hospital too, looks bad kid... But you know the goat, that kid wants to kill, and probably has... ill let theem know that if thhhhey kill youu, they hmmm... then I cantt beat you um mysepf, so no killins in my name, reelas ill call em, but you are just bruise now, I want moar blood. Nero Metal, the coldest leader, of the universe. (dat tok like 6 mins to tyype so wort it, if you diee, i dont responsible for the goat, but i think finger will stop him zoon.

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A Mexican, a black guy, and a Muslim are riding in the back of a car. Who is driving? Their friend Keith.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was something of interest on the other side.

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A woman walks into the bathroom and hears the sound of moaning. Not sure what to do she looks around and sees couples as far as the eye can see. She quickly turns to the woman and man standing next to her and asks what is going on here?! The woman says can't you read this is not a bathroom this is a public sex room! Only an idiot would ask that question. In shock the woman takes another look around and she spots someone she finds familiar. When she walks closer she finds that it is her boyfriend and that he is with another woman. Furious she walks up to him and slaps him in the face. The boyfriend looks at her and says sorry your sex just got old. Furious she says to him we never had sex!

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A baby walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says, "what'll ya have, Sport?" The baby's family runs in with a video camera screaming for joy over his first steps.

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Get the FREE anti jokes app with loads and loads of anti jokes anywhere you go, even offline! All the funniest and most popular, and loads more new ones. Why not? After all, it's free! http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/hilarious-anti-jokes-lite/id438092279?mt=8&ls=1

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How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea lives for around 5 minutes in hot water.

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Whats worse than dropping your apple? The Japanese earthquake!

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Neither have I

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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