I like my women the way I like my coffee: Without a penis.

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what's silver and red and keeps crashing into the walls? a baby with forks in its eyes

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What do Texans call cows? Cows. Calling them almost anything else would be utterly illogical.

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Knock Knock. -Who's there ? It's me. -Come in.

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Q: What's worse than eating cauliflowers? A: Eating cauliflowers and getting raped by Jerry Sandusky at the age of 7.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing Because she had no arms

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GADZOOKS!

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Why was the young Jewish boy afraid at camp? Because his scoutmaster is a pedophile.

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What's the deal with airplane food? Why don't they serve it as a complimentary part of the flight anymore?

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Mel Gibson and a Jew walk into a bar They proceed to have a pleasant conversation and both take taxis home

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What did Santa Clause say to Rudolf? Nothing. Santa's not real.

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Why couldn't the Asian drive? He was blind

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Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had Leukemia

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. one fell off and bumped his head. momma called the doctor and the doctor said "your son is now a vegetable. he can no longer use his brain for things such as moving, talking, or eating. you are going to have to take care of him for the rest of his life. it is also going to be a burden on you and your husband because taking care of someone in this condition is very expensive, and could end up costing thousands of dollars each year."

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Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? He was severely depressed.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Why did the terrorist miss the flight he was supposed to blow up? He forgot his passport.

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What did the black man say about Linkin Park? That there's obviously a rapist in their midst and they should all be questioned.

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Did you hear about the 4'10" psychic that escaped from prison? It's on the news! "Small Medium At Large."

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Q: whats better than having sex? A: nothing

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What do you call a black person riding a bicycle? A black person riding a bicycle.

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Hey girl, are you from Jamaica? Cus ja makin me go temporarily insane.

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A possesed goat: "moo"

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Because he was dangerously fatigued from staying up all night weeping passionately into the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of twenty years after the CEO of the company declared bankruptcy and finding out that his only daughter was in the hospital in critical condition after her school bus flipped off a bridge.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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