why did sally fall off the swing? because she was a fish.

Say silk 5 times. Silk Silk Silk Silk Silk Now what do cows drink? Water.

What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Getting a virus that slowly deteriorates your body from the inside out.

what worse the 2 dead kids in a van 3 dead kids in a van

What did the farmer say to the cow on the roof? Get off the roof.

Why did Devon move out of his mom's house? His mom beats him.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a prison. They're stopped by a gang. Hey, want to play a game? They answer "No thanks, we died in the last joke."

What do you call a banana that just got pealed A banana

Why was Newton surprised when the apple fell on his head? Because he was sitting under a pear tree.

Religion.

There is a high speed police pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns to the other and says "Moo".

vaginas are pretty!!!!

What did Batman's mother say when it was time for dinner? Nothing, Batman's parents are dead.

How did the man with no arms or legs cross the street? He didn't.

I swear to drunk officer I'm not god.

What did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing. They're muffins.

What's the best part of a family reunion? The sodomy.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 7 ate 9.

why did bob hit Jim Because bob didn't like Jim

What happened when the man lost his sandwich? He couldnt eat.

Sidney Crosby comes face-to-face with Alex Ovechkin. The Penguins were playing the Capitals.

Hi, how are you doing? Good how about yourself? Fine, thanks. Nice weather we're having Yeah, not too bad Have a nice day You too

What is translucent and smells like a carrot ? A translucent carrot.

How many software professionals does it take to get a file committed to source control? Well, today it took five.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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