What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool The tragic drowning of a quadrapalegic

Why is a building called a building when it's already been built? My pinky is pink and my liver helps me live.

Poop swing

Q: A boy went to 7-11 and bought Coke instead of 7up. Why? A: I don't know

a boy walks into the doctors office."my knees hurt...i poked it like this"the doctor says "listen kid...u are a really good kid but u didnt really injure your knee and im sick of you!!"

What do you call an englishman who wakes up in Africa Confused

What did the black kid get for christmas? A wii with duel contollers and a 2 year insurance for it incase it gets robbed or damaged

Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

What hurts worse than a papercut? Divorce.

A man walks into a bar. Ouch

Whats pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

Honestly though bud, are you wasted? XD

What is black, white and red all over? A black, white and red pen.

Why couldn't the white child dunk the basketball? His legs were amputated and he has been confined to a wheelchair.

This is not a joke

Nobody enjoys your company. Nobody likes your work. Nobody loves you. There is no person who's name is legitimately nobody.

What do a magazine and a banana have in common? They both have pages, except for the banana.

What did the African do when he found out he was constipated? He ate a laxative and went to the toilet

Whats more painful than falling onto a sharp stone? Suffering the loss of your mother and newborn brother in a tragic car accident on your birthday.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 7 ate 9.

Whats worse then the quote "Do it, hit her!" The quote "Do it, Hitler!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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