What'f funny and has 8 wheels? The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels

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What did the fish say when it hit the big stone wall? DAM

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Knock knock. Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? Doctor Brown, I have your test results, you've HIV positive.

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What do you call it when you lend money to a bison? Unitelligent, because bison do not have the ability to purchase things with money so it will most likely just eat the money.

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How many men do you have to have sex with to show that you're gay? But, I'm a woman!

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A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

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How can you tell if a substance is an acid or a base just by looking at it? You can't. pH or Litmus paper would be necessary in order to determine whether a substance is an acid or a base.

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Jesus once got nailed to a cross, beaten and gave his life in order to prove he was immortal. Safe to say, people remain impressed even 2000 years later. Moral: Lol, hey, its quite a feat, but what life did he give if he was immortal? Jesus is a okay dude though, he stole donkeys from stables (for transport) and when his disciples asked if stealing was bad he replied: God will provide for them. Awesome.

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i feel like i will die some heroic death, but its more likely i will trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, the highest he placed was 4th.

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whats worse than being raped by a random stranger getting raped by your uncle

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Waiter. there's a fly in my soup! I apologize, I'll bring you a new one immediately.

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Q: what did the dad get for playing baseball with his son? A: a line drive to his balls

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Why was the crazy person allowed to leave the asylum? The ombusman's report will be on your desk this morning minister.

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knock, knock whos there child molestor

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Why the boy doesn't get any birthday presents? he has cancer.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Shut up.

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Dogs taste better in stews.

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Why was was a black guy carrying a tv out of someone else's house. He was helping them move.

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They see me rollin' Up my sleeve for some volunteer work at the local shelter

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A man walked on the street where he saw an other man. The two men said: "Hi!" to each other and walked together down the road. Then one of the men got ran over by a car. The other man said: "ROFL".

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at him.

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The man asks the blind man "where ya going"b The Blind man replies "i dont know".

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What do cows and grass have in common? They both say "moo", except for the grass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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