- Anti Joke

tee hee

The guy above me has a very nice joke

Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Guess no ones home.

A homeless man walks into a house He is invited to a lovely lunch and then beaten to death

What's utter destruction but still has wheels? A car that was crushed at a junk yard, after the Bridgestone tires were removed for another car that could still use them

there was a rich kid strolling in the woods.he saw a bear, HE DIED

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What do you call a woman with no arms or legs that fell off a boat fucked

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

What's a ghost's favourite country? Fraaaaance.

All the other dinosaurs were laughing and teasing the tyrannosaurus because of his tiny arms. They left and the T.rex was sobbing uncontrollably next to a giant fern. "What's the matter little fellow?" said Jesus. The crying dinosaur looked down and said "I That's the end of my stupid puppet show, cuz I couldn't think of anything a blubbering dinosaur would say to our Lord and saviour.

What do you call a black guy running from the cops? Nothing. He was out for his morning jog and he happened to run by the police.

yo momma so fat... she went on a calorie controlled diet and lost 3 stone, she's a really nice lady too.

My heart is in my hands. Or maybe it's yours. Either way it's mine now. You won't need it anymore.

Q: why was the girl so dumb A: her teacher was a blond

So I was walking down the street the other day, I went to the shop.

Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

One girl said to her friends, "LOL guys wait for me." She ran to a pile of corpses. The girl was about to lose her sanity as she was in denial when her friends had died. She held hands of two of the corpses and smiled and pretended everything was ok.

Doctor, I am afraid of getting sexually abused. Hmm, sounds serious, take off all your clothes so we can get a proper look.

what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

How do you stop a vehicle moving at high speeds? Apply the brakes in a reasonable fashion.

Why did the man put his penis in the baby? Because it's warmer than a watermelon.

what did the black man say to the white girl? He respectfully asked her out on a date and theyve been happily dateing ever since.

what did the green grape say to the purple grape? i'm green.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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