What did the alcoholic say to his priest? I'm Drunk. The priest says "Your drunk go home". He barely makes it.

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religion

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Are you from Tenessee? I heard you were from there

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A little boy uses a horrible curse against his classmate. The classmate is so angry he tells the teacher. The teacher is so astounded at the little boy's use of language he sends him to the principal. When the principal hears of the foul language he's so ashamed he calls the police. The police can't believe the little boy said such a bad word, they think he deserves to go to court. The court dates are set up. When the Judge hears of the hate words he can think of no other worthy punishment except prison until he turns 21. After the kid is let out he heads for the bar across town where all the ex-prisoners go. He orders up a drink, bartender asks "What'd you do?". The kid explains the curse to the bartender. The barkeep becomes so upset that he kicks the kid out of the bar. While crossing the street to go to another bar he gets hit by a truck. Whats the moral of the story? Look both ways before crossing the street....

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What is the diffrence between a monkey... An apple because the more the much. :) :| :| :|

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Roses are red. Violets are blue... Hold on. Roses could be white too.

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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What's the difference between white and black? White is Caucasian and black is African-American.

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your dad called night and told me your grandpa died.

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whats the differences between an atari and a xbox 360 i don't know i'm not a video game nerd

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Q.why is there so much drama? A.it's a reality tv show.

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Q: What's the difference between a Chicken and a Triceratops? A: One is a Chicken and One is a Triceratops.

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Why are lizards broke? Because they run around the desert with no money...

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Why did the white girl fuck the mexican? Because her teacher told her to do an "essay"

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers!

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How many batteries does it take to run a car 1 a car battery

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why was the man at the tuna fish factory mad? because he was going through intense emotional trauma happening in his life because of problems with his wife and child.

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why was joe in hospital with facial disorder? his mum hit him with a fridge

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Why did the student shoot his teacher? Because he was super depressed and was just diagnosed with stage four brain cancer. And he was black.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

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how do u get a blonde to stay away from her credit card... i dont know im blonde

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What's the same about a crouton and a pencil case? Both are used for dirty things, such as shoe tying.

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Why did Peter go to the dentist? Because he had to go to the dentist!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops