Why did god smite the homosex man with all of heavens wrath? For shits and gigs.

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The Game

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

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Why is the fat man fat? Because he has an extremly bad metabolism which makes him gain two pounds from eating one cheeseburger

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How do you stop your child from picking his nose? Cut his hands off

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What do you call two banana's on someone's feet? Garbage.

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What did the lamp say to the pencil? Nothing. Lamps and pencils are inanimate objects and are also non sentient so therefore are incapable of talking or listening or having any emotions.

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Knock Knock. -Who's there ? It's me. -Come in.

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? Because he crossed the road

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susy.

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A black van approaches a small boy. The boy gets in the van, and the van drives away.

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What did Santa Clause say to Rudolf? Nothing. Santa's not real.

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Why did someone see a penguin walking in the desert? They were dreaming, because Penguins waddle and live in the Arctic.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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What do you call the man who graduated medical school last in his class? Doctor

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What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

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What do you call a muslim in an airplane? Whatever his name may be, though you could, of course, choose not to address him, though if it were a two-seater plane, it would be good manners to exchange polite conversation.

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Your momma's so fat she died five years ago.

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roses are red violets are blue dinosaurs are extinct obama is black

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YOU

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why was the man walking in the kitchen? idk thats why i asked

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24

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there once was a man from Nantucket. He was a fisherman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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