Hey

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What do you get if you mix razor blades with babies? An erection.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophob? a blowjob

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Why is Michael J. Fox unable to build domino chains? He only has one domino.

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how do you know when you're a man? massive erection.

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fallow me on twitter #ieatveloceraptorsfordinner

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What do you call a barn full of black people? antique farm equipment.

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Luke Hardie is G@Y

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An Atheist sneezed. Everyone around him said, "God bless you." He thanked them and continued on with his day.

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Why Was Mary Short? She Had No Legs.

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If a vegetarian only eats vegetables, then what does a humanitarian eat?

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Why did the bus driver have a bad day? Someone threw a washing machine filled with radios but containing no soap at his bus. Then, a kid stapled a frog to his face. His wife died of terminal cancer.

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What do you call someone with the world biggest encyclopedia on their head? Dead.

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? She didn't, women belong in the kitchen.

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why did the husband always work late nights? he needed the extra hours to provide for his family

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Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

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A man walked into a metal bar, they were playing Metallica.

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A guy walks into a bar, A metal one, OUCH!

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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why did mary fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didnt she get back up? Cause she had no friends. Knock knock whos there Definately not mary !

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Cheese stick

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yes... that's the joke

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops