How do you wake Lady Gaga up? You poke-er--face....pokerface.

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what's worse than getting raped the guy who raped you has aids

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Why does Jordan Abu aita have a small pepe? Because he is black

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How many Lepers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? People with leprosy should not be doing general house keeping.

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what do u call a black man a black man

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Why don't I understand myself? Because I am an anti-joke and lack a self-aware existence.

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An Asian man and an Irish man are standing at the bus stop, chatting casually, while waiting for the bus to arrive. The Irish man then turns to the Asian and says, "Despite our blatant differences in both race and culture, perhaps someday when we are both available, we can meet and talk civilly about our everyday lives over a cup of coffee."

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What's the difference between a white baby and a black baby? 10 minutes in the microwave.

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What has 9 arms and sucks? Def lepeord

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What is Santa's favorite color? Blue

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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there is a blonde, red head, and brunet held captive in afghanistan. The people say whats your last word to the red head, she says tornado... they turned and she escaped, they say to the brunet what is your last word, she says tsunami.. they turn and she escaped. They go to the blonde and say what is your last word, she says fire... she is then shot rapidly and she dies.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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A man walks into work and massacres 20 due to a mental illness.

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♪ It's raining. It's pouring. ♪ The old man caught pneumonia and died....

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Nobody likes you ya noob! (-_-) *sniff* MAN YOU SMELL BAD

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What's the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman is a superhero and the other is just a normal person.

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You know I can, and I already have, as once the mind knows its getting certain medications, it spends the energy required in order to achieve the effect, this is what psychiatrists and those assholes would call "psychological effect". With that said, I am still tired, and the stimulants are waking up my ouchies too, so I think ill get some sleep and dont worry, I can sleep with any stimulants as long as I can use my mind. By the way, my "hypnosis senses" are not hypnosis by themselves, but in order to hypnotize oneself and other, one must learn to read body language and stuff like that, something which I now do subconciously because I am experienced. Alice is calm again, her hands are shaking but she is cold, I am pretty sure she is far more tired than I am, so I kinda ordered her to go home, this guy can type for me. Just want you to know that I am doing fine now, and that the PTSD is much less severe than before as my brain no longer remembers the voice and looks my parents had back then, so I just feel my nose getting punched and breaking, its... Surprisingly annoying, so ill get some sleep, if nothing else it will help Alice get better, and I wont lie, I need it.

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just sit down and dont be a Jew

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What do you call a boy with no arms? Names.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an 0rgy.

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What's the difference between a bird and a pool table? Both of them fly, except for the pool table.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go to the slaughter-house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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