Roses are red Violets are blue I forgot to go to the bathroom

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Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? Because, there are no tailors in the area who make pants suitable for chickens to wear.

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nipple

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what do you call a nun in a wheel chair? Virgin Mobile By: jb lshs

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a man walks into a bar. ouch.

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rose's are red, bananas are yellow, yo mama's so fat she jiggles like jello

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why didn't the chicken cross the road? there are no roads in factory farms.

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Mommy mommy I don't want to see grandma. Shut up and keep digging.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Whats the difference between a Duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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Why did the tree stay home from school? Because, trees don't have school.

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Why did Sally's Ice Cream melt? Sally was on Fire

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In Soviet Russia, you have no rights!

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A girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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whats worse than being late to school haveing your family killed by an angry peice of toast

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Lets Go Lakers!

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What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? Nothing. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said objects are, are in no way capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not doing your Webtime on a Friday!!

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' Cheese

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What did Annie the Orphan get for Christmas? News that her parents are dead.

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What happens if you confuse your male best friend's and your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, their both named Adam.

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What do you call a black person driving a plane? A pilot, because you dont want to call him anything racist i mean he is driving you up 25,000 ft in the air and the last thing you want is for him to get mad and decide to do something rational, God, you racists.

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Obama says: I can throw one 1,000 dollar bill out the window and make one person really happy Michelle says: I can throw ten 100 dollar bills out the window and make ten people really happy The Co-Pilot says: I can throw you both out the window and make 250,000,000 people really happy tee-hee

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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