What's the same about a crouton and a pencil case? Both are used for dirty things, such as shoe tying.

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Pitbull is Mr. Worldwide because his music sucks everywhere in the world

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Why did the baby cry? His dad was holding him upside down over a fire.

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sharks

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how do u get a blonde to stay away from her credit card... i dont know im blonde

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What happens when a black person brakes his neck? He gets a neck brace just like anyone else.

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What the difference between Adolf Hitler and Michael Phelps? Micheal Phelps can finish a race.

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The man asks the blind man "where ya going"b The Blind man replies "i dont know".

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whyd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side :)

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What happens if you shoot a chicken? It dies.

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What's red, green, and goes about 200 mph A fire hidrent I lied about the green and the 200 mph

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Bill:What do you get when you cross a panda and an eagle? Joe:I don't know what? Bill: Is that even possible?

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Q: What's green and goes through walls? A: A pickle, you just have to throw it really hard.

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Why is Steve Jobs dead, but Bill Gates isn't? Because Bill Gates wasn't diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer.

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want to hear a dirty joke tommy fell in the mud a clean joke he took a bath with bubbles bubbles was his neighbor

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holocaust is bad but its funny when you use it as a joke hehe

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One watermelon said the the other watermelon, "you are looking mighty plump today", the other watermelon didn't say anything because watermelons cant talk

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A rabbi walks into a bar, in traditional Jewish garb. The bartender takes one look at him and says "Sorry, you'll have to leave". The Jewish gentleman says "Why, don't you serve Jews in here?". The bartender replies "Of course we do, but we just found asbestos in the walls and we're closing for remodeling." The rabbi politely apologizes for making misplaced assumptions about the bartender's place of business.

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A blind man walked into a bar and got a beer and got drunk and went on a rampage and killed YOUR MOM

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TEST! ACTUALLY READ THIS! 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. 2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. 3. The King of the Forest is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend? The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory. 4. There is a river you must cross but it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it? You swim across. All the crocodiles are attending the animal conference.

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Q: Why couldnt the kid feel his legs A: He had no arms

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Bob: Hey Jim, what's up? Jim: Obviously the sky, oh and i see a few planes too. by the way why are you asking me why don't you just look up?

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible

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why did the frog cry? Because he didn't get a message

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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